I Lost Myself.

Alex and I use to be avid gym-goers, and not even the cute kind. We were the annoying ones who did "couple-cises", posted pictures of our meal preps and had those lame "Swole Mate" t-shirts.

When I found out I was pregnant with Madison, my doctor advised me to stay away from lifting weights and to only do cardio if I was going to be doing any kind of exercise. Which, if you know me, I rather get eaten by zombies than run for my life. Meaning cardio was a no go.

While pregnant, homemade food disgusted me. I would ONLY eat at a restaurant and that's when the rolls - I mean, pounds came on.

Once I had Madison, I threw myself into the new-parent-focuses-solely-on-child phase. I was always making sure she was fed, changed and entertained. When I went back to work, I wanted to only spend my time with her as soon as we picked her up.

I wanted to be with Madison 24/7. I didn't want to work, I didn't want to go to the gym, I didn't want to leave her side even if Alex was with her. It stressed me out, the thought of not being there and missing some major milestone because I was too busy having a life away from baby.

I lost myself.

This has taken its toll on not just my relationship or friendships but on my body and mental image of myself. So, I've decided enough is enough. Step by step, I will pick myself up again. I'm restructuring my mom routine and jumping back into old habits.

I just want to make myself clear before I go on and on with this motivational pep talk I'm giving myself. I will still be doing "couple-cises" with Alex, I will post pictures of my meal preps but hopefully I won't wear that embarrassing "Swole Mate" t-shirt ever again.

They say it takes 21 days to form a habit and I completed day 1 yesterday, only 20 more to go.

My Shoes: Nike Outlet

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